Self-pity and God's grace

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Have you ever studied the Israelite nation? Specifically their journey to the Promise Land and wandering in the desert. Self-pity pretty much sums up their whole attitude. Now granted, they had to go through some hard things; but! They had an Awesome God providing everything they needed. I think they may have all had short-term memory loss though ;) It's easy to laugh at them and wonder why in the world they were so silly. But then, you look at your life and the laughter dies away...

That's the moment I have had this week. Over and over and over... There have been some big changes happening in my family. Hard changes. And it's not over yet. It's been really easy for me to get frustrated and mopey. It's been easy to forget Who is in control. It's been easy to feel, do I dare? Selfish, pouty, etc... Slowly, God has been tugging at my heart, reminding me how wrong those feelings are. As I thought about everything, the Jewish people immediately popped into my head. Over and over again, God provided, they complained, God provided, they complained. They wallowed in self-pity. That is exactly what I have been doing. Listen to this - Exodus 14:10-14 (ESV)

 "When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, “Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.” And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” "

God had just rescued His people from Egypt with some miraculous plagues. Can you just imagine experiencing the power of God in that way?? And yet, when Pharaoh came after them they seemed to have forgotten all of those things. Here they go, self-pity abounds. Now I look at my life - I have just experienced some awesome things God has done! A little boy I used to babysit years ago, all of a sudden shows up in a Child Evangelism Fellowship 5-Day club (a week long bible club. Coordinating these is my job this summer) and is counseled for salvation. What?? Awesome! God is good, I say (And I mean it!). I had a driver cancel on me and yet without even trying God brings replacements into my path. God is good! (And I really mean it again). Then, things happen. I feel ignored, I feel my dreams and goals are unimportant; but do I come back to my God, who is good? No, I wallow in self-pity, selfishness, pride. I can just hear God saying to me "Fear not, stand firm!.. I will fight for you, and you only have to be silent." And you only have to be silent...  And that's where God's grace swoops in. He doesn't let me stay in this pit, He pulls me out, convicts me, reminds me who He is (an Awesome, Powerful, Faithful God who loves ME!) and who I am (the daughter of the most High King). That doesn't mean I immediately do a 180 or never feel this way again, but it does mean that I remember to trust Him, to rely on Him and that my heart is conformed more to His Son. And that? Is pretty Awesome! So, next time I feel like complaining or pitying myself, I want to remember that God will fight for me, I just have to stay silent... ...And cry out to my Father who loves me and always, always is with me!

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Until next time...