Preparing to say "I Do"... 120 days left.

A few weeks ago, one of my sweet friends gifted me a couple of books as sort of a pre-marriage gift - One of them is by Carolyn Mahaney (C.J. Mahaney's wife - I love a lot of his stuff!) and is called "Feminine Appeal". I first heard about it when this same friend used it in a devotional she did for Jaquelyn's baby shower. It goes through Titus 2, which is such a great passage for women. Each chapter goes over one of the different principles/commands. I was very excited to start in on it and it has been so good.

Anyway, for this post I really just want to share some quotes with you from one of the chapters - "The Delight of Loving My Husband". Now, obviously I love Nathan so very much and this definitely is not something I struggle with right now, but there are so many wonderful points that I want to internalize so I can glorify God and love my husband the way He wants me to even when it might be hard.

This first quote is from the beginning of the chapter and really sums up why I think this is so important. The following ones will simply be random ones that spoke to my heart. I hope you enjoy!

"...We frequently observe women during courtship and maybe even into the first year of marriage who appear to be "madly in love." However, when we interact with these women several years later, the passion and delight seem strangely absent.

Their husbands are no longer "Mr. Wonderful." What happened? Why is there no longer any thrill and excitement? Is this inevitable? 

No! It's not meant to be that way!..."

"In the broadway musical fiddler on the roof, the main character, Tevye, asks his wife, Golde, "Do you love me?" In response she reminds him that for twenty-five years she's washed his clothes, cooked his meals, cleaned his house, given him children, and milked his cow... ...What is love? More importantly what does it mean in Titus 2 when it says we are to love our husbands? The definition couldn't be more different from Golde's...

...the word for love used in Titus 2:4 is phileo. This word describes the love between very close friends. It is a tender, affectionate, passionate kind of love. It emphasizes enjoyment and respect in a relationship..."

"...Sad to say, I have been guilty of neglecting this phileo kind of love on numerous occasions. I often become so preoccupied with the duties and responsibilities of my marriage that I fail to nurture tenderness and passion in my relationship with my husband. I get so busy serving him that I overlook enjoying him..." 

"...Paul didn't use agape in describing the love we are to cultivate for our husbands.

He chose phileo. In fact, in commands specifically related to wives,

agape is never used. Now this does not mean we have been released

from needing to extend this kind of love... ...I believe that Scripture's specific commands to husbands and wives regarding their duties in marriage attest to our respecting weaknesses..."

"...Women will often continue to sacrifice and serve their husbands even if all tender feelings for them have subsided. Author Douglas Wilson makes this observation: "Women are fully capable of loving a man, sacrificing for him, while believing the entire time that he is a true and in varnished jerk. Women are good at this kind of love."... 

...However, Scriptures mandate to love our husbands involves far more than merely doing  household chores. We are required to love them with nothing less than a passionate, tender, affectionate kind of love..."

"...We must love our husbands. As we learned in chapter 1, this ind of love commends the gospel. If we no longer have tender feelings for our husbands,

we must seek God's help to learn how to love them again.

First John 4:19 says we can love our husbands because God first loved us.

As we submit to God's command, He will show us how to love,

and He will make it possible..."

"...We must learn how to adopt this kind of love. We see this principle implied in our text. If Paul exhorted Titus to have the older women teach the young women

how to love their husbands, we can assume this love is not something that happens spontaneously. Loving our husbands - as biblically defined - is a learned response

through the grace of God..."

"...If we find that our affection for our husband is waning or has subsided altogether,

then we do not need to look any further than our own hearts.

Where sin is present, warm affection dissipates. Anger, bitterness, criticism, pride, selfishness, fear, laziness - all vigorously oppose tender love.

This love cannot survive in a heart that harbors sin..."

There are so many more quotes that share how to keep phileo love alive in marriage that have already helped me learn so much - I'd like to share them, but this post might be getting too long already... =) So part two will be coming after a while!

{Get this wonderful book here!}

Until next time...