Giving God whatever - iPods and toilets...

One of my biggest fears happened last night. As I was brushing my teeth, my almost brand new IPod fell into the toilet... And even though I took it out fast and it had a case, it died... Right now it's sitting on my dresser in a huge bag of rice. That was the horrible end to a pretty good day. Well, actually the end was bawling on the phone to Nathan, but you know. Nathan encouraged me to pray about it before I went to sleep and I did. I prayed that God would help me to be okay and that if it was His will, to make it come back. Silly though that may sound, it was and is my honest feeling. I know that nothing happens without a reason and that God is in control. But really, why did that happen?? 

I started thinking and something that one of my dearest friends said popped into my mind. We were at a Child Evangelism Fellowship training and had the privilege of being room buddies for 2 weeks. One day she misplaced her phone and freaked out trying to find it. Everyone was trying to find it. She was trying to be happy and carefree about it, but it was a new phone that God had provided and she did not understand. Well, finally she broke down and was just extremely frustrated and angry. She decided though, "God, if this is something I need to give up to be closer to you, I will." Two seconds later her sister found it resting on a towel rack below the mirror in our room. Funny thing, is that she had been standing there 5 minutes ago and could not see it. Later on during our group devotions she shared that and how God had worked on her heart. How she was realizing that God wanted her to be willing to give up whatever, whoever, and be willing to go wherever for Him (that actually seemed to be the theme of the two weeks). And that her phone? Was a whatever. That convicted me then and is definitely convicting me now.

MY IPOD IS A WHATEVER! It is so easy to say okay, I will give up whatever for you God. But then, those "little" things happen and it is so hard... Every time I think about it, I keep saying "What if?" What if the person before me had closed the toilet lid? What if I had decided to keep it in my room while I got ready for bed? What if I hadn't put it on the counter? I woke up this morning hoping everything had just been a terrible nightmare. But it wasn't. 

Then the other enemy seeps in. Well God, you can have my IPod. It's yours. I'll give it up. (Hmmm... Maybe now that I've let go of it, God will bring it back to life! Oh yeah, this will be great!) Ummm... Not quite what He wants. But, I do think He wants me to be honest with myself and with Him. So I changed my prayer. "God, I don't want to give this up. God, I am not happy. God, please make it come back. But, if it's not Your will, then give me the strength to be okay with that. Give me the strength to let go. Give me the strength not to throw a pity party, not to drown in my own sorrows, not to tell the whole world how horrible my life is because You took it. Give me the strength and passion to love you more because of it." 

Until next time...